


On a Dare

by Jecari



Series: Buddie First Kiss Week 2020 [4]
Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Buddie First Kiss Week, Buddie First Kiss Week 2020, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Love Confessions, M/M, Panic Attacks, Truth or Dare
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-04
Updated: 2020-06-04
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:47:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24536446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jecari/pseuds/Jecari
Summary: Eddie isn’t really sure how he got himself in this situation. The night started like any of the one-eighteen’s gathering: with families and friends, too much food, laughter and happy conversations. So how did it end up this way? When did he go back in time and started playing ‘truth or dare’ as if he was seventeen again? Eddie doesn’t know. But soon after the Grant-Nash family left and the kids fell asleep in the guestroom of Maddie and Chimney’s new house, things took an unexpected turn.“I dare you…” Buck trails off, tapping his index finger on his lips and looking up as he thinks.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Series: Buddie First Kiss Week 2020 [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1769521
Comments: 4
Kudos: 182





	On a Dare

**Author's Note:**

> For the [ Buddie First Kiss Week ](https://buddiefirstkissweek.tumblr.com/). 
> 
> Day 3: On a dare
> 
> Hope you like it ♥
> 
> Beta'd by the lovelies [ Meloingly ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/meloingly/pseuds/meloingly) and [ Jyang1219 ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jyang1219/pseuds/jyang1219), thanks a lot to both of you ♥

Eddie isn’t really sure how he got himself in this situation. The night started like any of the one-eighteen’s gathering: with families and friends, too much food, laughter and happy conversations. So how did it end up this way? When did he go back in time and started playing ‘truth or dare’ as if he was seventeen again? Eddie doesn’t know. But soon after the Grant-Nash family left and the kids fell asleep in the guestroom of Maddie and Chimney’s new house, things took an unexpected turn.

“I dare you…” Buck trails off, tapping his index finger on his lips and looking up as he thinks.

Sitting on the floor by the coffee table, Eddie cocks an eyebrow at him, unamused. The smirk tugging at the corners of Buck’s mouth tells him that he’s just putting on a show when he already has something in mind. When his smirk turns into a grin, making the corner of his eyes crinkle as they shine with something Eddie can only identify as mischief, Eddie knows he’s in trouble. To be fair, he’s been since they started playing this game.

“I dare you,” Buck starts again, pausing to give Eddie a sly smile, “to kiss the person you like.”

Eddie rolls his eyes at Buck– partly because he sounds like a teenager but mostly because he was expecting something along those lines. He knows what his best friend is trying to do; it’s not like Buck is trying to be subtle.

Ever since Eddie answered ‘yes’ when Hen asked him if he was into someone, Buck has made it his mission to find out who it is. So far, Eddie managed to get away with truths and no explanations– it’s someone they all know, he’s never tried to make a move, and yes, they are in the room– but, according to Chimney, he can’t pick truth more than three times in a row. So when Buck turned to him, with a playful smile, he had no choice: Eddie picked dare.

Staring at the floor, Eddie can feel everyone else’s eyes on him and an uneasy weight settles in his chest. Sometimes, he thinks they all know about what he feels for Buck, except Buck. And Eddie can’t really blame him; it’s taken him a while to admit his own feelings to himself and he hasn’t worked up the courage to do anything about them yet. He’s not sure he’s ready for a relationship, he’s not sure Buck is either. So while he’s convinced they could be good for each other– after all they already make a good team– there’s a part of Eddie that thinks the timing is bad, and wonders if it will ever be good.

“So, who is it going to be?” Chimney asks, nudging Eddie with his foot to catch his attention.

Snapped out of his thoughts, Eddie looks up at him above his shoulder. Chimney puckers his lips, making kissing sounds as he wiggles his eyebrows, and Eddie fights the urge to smack him upside the head. Instead, he looks around the room. Hen is sitting on the couch with Karen on her lap, hugging her waist. Chimney is sitting on the other side of the couch with one of Maddie’s– who’s perched on the armrest– arms around his shoulder. Josh is settled between the two couples, one foot tucked under his body. Albert is lounging in one of the armchairs, legs swung over the armrest. And Buck is sitting on the other one, fingers impatiently drumming on his thigh. Everyone in the room, except for Buck, is giving Eddie a knowing look. If they didn’t know before about his feelings for Buck, after all the clues he’s given since the game has started, Eddie’s quite sure they do now. Somehow, it doesn’t bother him; instead of feeling embarrassed, he feels like a weight has been taken off of his shoulders. That– and the few beers he’s had– encourages him.

Eddie would like to blame what he’s about to do on the alcohol or Chimney and his crazy ideas, but he can’t, not really. He’s stopped drinking the instant Bobby and his family left, thinking about leaving soon as well. Besides, the truth is, there’s nothing and no-one to blame but himself; Eddie is feeling bold– only because he has an excuse but it doesn’t really matter.

If this doesn’t turn out the way he hopes, then it’s all just a game and his friendship with Buck is safe. If it does, then… Eddie doesn’t know; he hasn’t thought that far yet.

Sighing, Eddie leaves his spot on the floor by the coffee table; and since he doesn’t trust his legs to carry his weight, he crawls. He drags his hands and knees on the floor, to where Buck is sitting on the armchair and settles between his ridiculously long legs. He moves forward until his body is pressed against the armchair, against Buck's body, and he takes his best friend's face between his hands, pulling it closer. Ignoring the fast beating of his heart, Eddie takes a second to take Buck’s face in. His eyes travel from the birthmark down to the plump lips, slightly parted, before going back up to his eyes. He’s beautiful.

When Eddie’s eyes meet Buck’s again, his best friend is already looking at him, pupils so wide there’s almost no blue left. If Eddie didn’t know better, he’d think Buck wants this kiss as much as he does because he slightly leans in and wets his lips in anticipation. Eddie watches the movement, mesmerized, but he’s jolted out of his contemplation by Hen’s frustrated groan.

“Just kiss him already,” she urges impatiently.

Eddie turns toward Hen to glare at her and when he turns back to Buck, his eyes are still on him and he’s cocking an eyebrow at him.

“Is… Is it okay?” Eddie asks, staring into his best friend’s eyes. Even if this is a game, he needs to make sure Buck is on board with this.

“Yeah,” Buck answers with a small smile tugging at his lips.

Eddie’s heart skips a beat at Buck’s agreement, but he ignores it. Taking a deep breath, he nods then goes for it. He leans in, closing the distance between their faces and kisses Buck as he keeps his hands on his jaw. It’s only a soft press of closed lips, but Eddie’s been waiting to do this for so long, it sets his body on fire and butterflies dance in his belly. Eddie pulls away after a few seconds and, when he opens his eyes, he’s met with the most beautiful version of Buck he’s ever seen. Eyes still closed, a subtle blush painting his cheeks, Buck breathes slowly through parted lips. Eddie’s overwhelmed by the urge to kiss him again– properly this time– but he fights it. Reminding himself that it’s just a game, he lets go of his best friend’s face and starts moving backward. However, before he can get too far, Buck’s eyes snap open, pinning Eddie down. Eddie’s mouth hangs open as he looks at Buck leaning forward. Buck rests his elbows on his knees and his head on his hands, coming closer, and looks at Eddie with a cocky expression on his face.

“If this is what you call a kiss, I get why you’re still single,” Buck teases.

There’s a brash smile tugging at the corners of his lips and Eddie knows Buck well enough to know he’s challenging him with both his words and smile. The air between them shifts. It thickens, charged with tension and electricity Eddie feels deep in his bones. It acts like a magnet, drawing Eddie closer to Buck again. He’s not sure what the challenge is, but he knows he wants to take it up. Back in Buck’s personal space, Eddie cocks an eyebrow at him. Barely aware of their friends’ presence anymore, he challenges Buck back.

“And you are an expert?” He asks, squinting slightly.

“Yeah,” Buck replies, moving on the armchair. He leans forward even more, bringing his face closer to Eddie’s. “What were you trying to do here? That’s not how you kiss the person you like… unless you’re five.”

Eddie’s eyes settle on Buck’s lips again and fighting the urge to kiss Buck again becomes harder. He’s ready to give in when another idea pops into his mind; whatever game Buck is playing, he can play it too.

“Since you’re the kiss expert, why don’t you show me how to kiss the person I like, then?” He asks, moving closer. “I dare you.”

Buck’s smile turns into a smirk and slowly leans in, making Eddie’s heart go crazy in his chest. The closer their lips get, the faster his heart beats because this is different from the small kiss he gave to Buck. It’s still a game, yes, but Buck being the one initiating this kiss changes everything; at least it does in Eddie’s mind.

A shiver runs down Eddie’s spine when Buck’s hand grabs him by the back of the neck and their lips brush tentatively. Before the teasing can turn into a real kiss, Chimney’s voice stops them.

“You can’t ask the person who just asked you!” He complains.

For the second time that night, Eddie wants to hit Chimney. He opens his eyes and turns his head to glare at him, right on time to see Maddie smacking his arm. When he brings his attention back to Buck, his best friend looks as frustrated as he feels; Eddie wants to believe this means he wants this kiss as much as he does.

“I don’t make the rules!” Eddie hears Chimney defend himself.

“And I don’t follow the rules,” Buck declares with a smile.

Despite Chimney’s protests, Buck pulls Eddie in with firm pressure on the back of his neck and claims his lips eagerly. Eddie’s eyes instantly flutter closed and his hands find Buck’s waist as he lets his best friend kiss him. Buck doesn’t waste a second to deepen the kiss, the tip of his tongue slipping past Eddie’s lips. Buck kisses him like he means it, and maybe he does? Maybe Eddie isn’t the only one feeling that special connection between them and wanting to explore it further. The kiss is gentle and rough all at once; it’s everything and it knocks Eddie off of his feet. Eddie loses himself in it, in Buck’s touch, and he can’t fool himself anymore. This is not a game anymore; this kiss, Eddie’s feelings, Buck… Everything is very real.

“I… Wow,” Eddie breathes out.

Buck chuckles. “Yeah… that’s the effect you want your kiss to have on the person you like.”

Eddie is breathless and speechless. He doesn’t say anything and simply stares at Buck, panting. The smile on his best friend’s face isn’t cocky nor teasing anymore; it’s soft and genuine and shows nothing but happiness. The blush on his cheeks got one shade darker and spread across his ears. And his eyes… his eyes, although still dark, sparkle with something Eddie can’t place. Hope settles inside Eddie’s chest but it’s quickly replaced by fear. He’s not worried that Buck doesn’t share his feelings– the look on his face is quite telling– but the new possibilities, the opportunities to ruin everything and the thought that he won’t be enough for Buck, just like he wasn’t for Shannon, make his insides twist uncomfortably. He could have dealt with rejection, he would have, no matter how painful it would have been. But this? This Eddie can’t handle; he can’t handle the thought of hurting Buck, of losing him.

Panic creates a cage around Eddie’s chest that makes it hard to breathe. Regardless of his effort to get air inside his lungs it doesn’t really fill them and it hurts. Suddenly, it feels like the walls are moving closer and closer, trapping him, and his friends’ attention on him becomes oppressive as well. Buck’s is the worst. Despite the concern and worry that Eddie sees in his eyes, there’s a reassuring smile on his lips and Eddie can’t take it.

He can’t stay here, he needs to get away and calm himself down. That’s exactly what he does. Eddie mumbles an excuse as he gets on his feet, eyes fixed on the floor, and barely stops himself from running to the kitchen. There, he leans over the sink and turns on the tap. Trying not to think of everything that just happened– and failing– he gathers some water in his hands and splashes it on his face. The cold water helps a little bit but breathing remains a struggle. In his head, his thoughts are scattered and chaotic, jumping from one thing to another, and Eddie doesn’t know how to make them stop. He knows focusing on them won’t help, so he concentrates on the water still running from the tap. Grabbing the counter and hanging his head low, he watches it running down the sink where it twirls before going down the drain and listens to its soothing splashing and splattering. The trick works; his thoughts are quieter and his breathing calmer. However, tranquility doesn’t last long. When he feels a warm hand touching the back of his neck, Eddie’s heart speeds up again and his breath catches in his throat, making him cough.

“It’s okay,” Buck says quietly, turning the tap off. “It’s me.”

Even if Buck had stayed quiet, Eddie would have recognized him by his touch alone, firm but gentle at the same time. Not that Buck touches him a lot, but he does so enough for Eddie to recognize the gentle, calming feeling and the firm, grounding press on his skin. Buck massages Eddie’s neck like he has several times before, whenever Eddie had a panic attack. They didn’t happen that much but ever since his near-death experience, they’ve become more frequent. Frank says it’s normal, being stuck under the ground brought back things he’s spent years trying to bury so now, his mind easily gets overwhelmed. Eddie would prefer it if it didn’t, but he’s accepted that it’s not something he has control over. He just tries to remember that no matter how bad it gets, it never lasts. Every time Buck was here to help him through it, it went away faster so even if he’s part of why his brain rebelled against him, right now, Eddie is glad his best friend is here.

Eddie’s body relaxes slightly at the contact of Buck’s hand on his skin because it’s familiar, and he associates it with peace and the calm after the storm going on in his head. He breathes deeply as Buck’s hand travels down his spine, caressing his back, before going back up then down again. After a while, Eddie’s grip on the countertop eases and his breathing slows down but it takes him a few more minutes to work up the courage to look at his best friend. When he finally does, he finds Buck next to him, his hip leaning against the worktop. He’s close enough for Eddie to feel the warmth radiating off of his body but not enough for their bodies to touch except for Buck’s hand on his back.

“Better?” Buck asks with a small smile on his lips. He has his head tilted to the side and a soft look on his face.

Because he doesn’t trust his voice, Eddie simply nods in answer. He feels exhausted, like he just ran a marathon, but he can breathe normally without having to think about it and, despite the headache poking at his skull, his thoughts are quiet.

“Come on,” Buck’s hand leaves Eddie’s back and hangs between them.

Hesitating, Eddie stares at it. He’s not ready to go back to the living room and face everyone yet, but he knows he can’t stay hidden in Maddie and Chimney’s kitchen forever, as tempting as it sounds. With a sigh, he slips his fingers inside Buck’s hand. He expects Buck to drag him back to the living room but instead, it’s like Buck has read his mind. Holding Eddie’s hand, he sits down on the floor and gives it a little tug to tell Eddie to do the same. Eddie instantly obliges, sitting with his back against the counter and his legs stretched in front of him. He leaves some distance between them even though they’re still holding hands and looks up at the ceiling. The silence that settles between them is comfortable and peaceful, only broken from time to time by the muffled laughter of their friends coming from the other room.

Eddie doesn’t know how long they sit in silence but it feels like an eternity yet not long enough. He’s not sure if he moved or if Buck did but their bodies are now pressed against each other, still surrounded by serene silence as Eddie’s head rests on Buck’s shoulder. Eventually, Buck breaks the silence, his voice low and deep.

“What happened back there?” He asks, playing absentmindedly with Eddie’s fingers.

The question makes Eddie’s heart squeeze. He knows that if he tells Buck that he doesn’t want to talk about it, Buck won’t ask any more questions but everything in him screams not to do that, not to avoid that conversation. So Eddie thinks; he thinks about what to say, how to share his fears with Buck. However, he stays silent too long for Buck’s liking apparently because he speaks again:

“It’s my fault, isn’t it?” It’s a question but the guilt is obvious in Buck’s voice. His fingers stop playing with Eddie’s, letting go and Eddie lifts his head up to look at him but Buck’s avoiding his gaze. “I pushed you too much, it was a game and… I don’t know, I guess I wanted to know where we stand, you and I,” he confesses with a sigh. “It was a bit manipulative of me but I– I don’t know, I’m sorry.”

“Buck…” Eddie sighs. “Look at me, please.”

Buck’s eyes meet Eddie’s, shinning with a mixture of worry, hope, and fear. Eddie gives him a reassuring smile and Buck smiles back. Being mad at him for using this game the way he did would be hypocritical because that is what Eddie did too.

“If I didn’t want to answer those questions or do that dare, I wouldn’t have. Game or not,” Eddie grabs Buck’s hand, intertwining their fingers. “I wanted to know where we stand too, I guess. This thing between us is confusing, you’re my best friend but sometimes I want you to be more. But I didn’t know if you…”

“I do,” Buck stops him. “I didn’t think it was me, the person you like? I mean… I hoped so but– Wait,” Buck pauses squinting at Eddie, “sometimes?”

“What?” Eddie asks, frowning in confusion.

“You said that sometimes you want me to be more, what about the rest of the time?”

Eddie bites down a smile. “The rest of the time I want to strangle you,” he jokes. “You can be a real pain in the ass.”

“But you like me anyway,” Buck points out, a bright smile tugging at his lips. “You kissed me.”

“I like you, yes,” Eddie admits. “I think I love you actually, but I don’t want to rush things and screw this up. I like what we have right now, I don’t want it to change.”

“It doesn’t have to,” Buck states, staring into Eddie’s eyes, into his soul. “We can take this slow and see where it takes us,” he suggests, taking the words out of Eddie’s mouth.

Fears still dance in the back of Eddie’s mind, and they probably will for a while, but they’re not as overwhelming as before because Bucks understands. It doesn’t magically fix Eddie’s issues, he knows it’s something he needs to do himself but it helps.

“That sounds nice,” Eddie smiles. “How slow are we talking though?” He asks, his eyes falling on Buck’s lips. “Because I really want to kiss you again, right now.”

“Then what are you waiting for?”

Instead of answering, Eddie gets on his knees. While one of his hands grabs the worktop for support, the other one settles on Buck’s jaw, and he kisses his best friend. Or boyfriend? Eddie doesn’t know what he should call Buck, and he’s okay with that. It’s part of taking things slow and for the first time ever, Eddie finds the unexpected and the unknown exciting rather than scary.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and Kuddos are always appreciated and cherished, your love and support are what keep me writing! ♥
> 
> Find me on [ Tumblr ](https://depthandcharacter.tumblr.com)!


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